- How are the expenses for a wedding divided?
- How do I address my wedding invitations?
- Other than friends, the groom's family and my family, who should receive wedding invitations?
- Should I have a return address printed on the back flap of the invitation's outer envelope?
- Is it acceptable to send gift registry cards with the invitation?
- My fiancé and I have had several showers and other parties given in our honor. Therefore, some friends have given us more than one gift. Can we write one thank you note to cover both gifts, or does each gift require a separate note?
- How do you address the outer envelope of an invitation to a married couple if the woman has kept her maiden name?
HOW ARE THE EXPENSES FOR A WEDDING DIVIDED?
The expenses listed below are divided according to tradition. There may be variations due to local customs or special circumstances.
Bride (or her family)
- Wedding invitations (including Response Cards, Reception Cards etc.), all stationery and announcements.
- Wedding consultant
- Wedding cake
- Wedding gown, accessories and trousseau
- Engagement and wedding photographs
- Ceremony expenses (excluding officiates fee)
- Reception expenses
- Flowers for ceremony, reception and brides attendants
- Transportation of wedding party to ceremony and reception site
- Lodging for out-of-town bridal attendants
- Groom's ring
- Gifts for bride's attendants and groom
- Bridal luncheon (optional)
Groom (or his family)
- Bride's engagement and wedding rings
- Personal wedding attire and traveling expenses
- Marriage license
- Officiates fee
- Transportation of groomsmen and groom to ceremony; bride and groom to ceremony
- Rehearsal dinner expenses
- Bride's bouquet and going away corsage; corsages for both mothers
- Boutonnieres for groomsmen
- Gifts for groomsmen and bride
- All honeymoon expenses
- Lodging arrangements for out-of-town groomsmen
- Bachelor's dinner (optional)
- Wedding attire
- Traveling expenses
- Wedding gift
Bride and Groom
- Gifts for attendants
- Thank you gifts for parents and others who helped with the wedding.
HOW DO I ADDRESS MY WEDDING INVITATIONS?
Helpful Hints for Addressing and Assembling Your Wedding Invitations
We have prepared this handy guide to help make the addressing and assembly of your wedding stationery a simple task. An orderly approach will not only save time, but also reflects your personal care and thoughtfulness. One will be included with each order.
Before you begin addressing, make sure that you have a well organized guest list, complete with full names and addresses. Using 3 x 5 cards gives you flexibility and a simple way to record names and addresses, acceptances, regrets and thank you's. This also allows you to separate your guests into three categories:
1. Those to receive a wedding announcement
2. Guests to receive an invitation to the ceremony only
3. Guests who will be invited to both the ceremony and the reception
Your invitations should be addressed by hand in black ink. To create an added touch of elegance, you may wish to call upon a friend with beautiful handwriting or hire a calligrapher to do the addressing.
Traditionally, two envelopes are used for wedding invitations and announcements. The inner envelope, which may be plain or lined, is without glue and remains unsealed. It is used to enclose the invitation or announcement and any accompanying cards. It also insures the delivery of the invitation itself in a clean envelope. The outer envelope has a glued flap and is used for the complete mailing address. The guest's full name is always used on the outer envelope followed by the street address:
Mr. and Mrs. Laurence Sutton
908 South Main Street
Hingham, Massachusetts 02043
Nicknames or abbreviations should be avoided when possible except for Mr., Mrs., Dr., Jr., etc. and for military rank. You may use an initial if you do not know the full name or if the person never uses his given name. Cities, states, and numbered streets are written out in full. Remember to include zip codes.
The inner envelope always carries the last names only with no address:
Mr. and Mrs. Wilford
The phrase "and family" should be avoided. If you wish to include younger children, they should be mentioned by first name, according to age, on the line following that of their parents:
Mr. and Mrs. Wilford
Mark, Cynthia, Thomas
These names should appear on the inner envelope only. The outer envelope would be simply addressed to the parents. Never write "No Children" on the invitation or envelope. If you do not want children to attend, the situation should be handled verbally.
Formally, dates of single guests should be sent separate invitations. You may wish to enclose a personal note in the invitation of a single guest saying. "Please bring an escort" or "Please bring Miss Marie Quinn".
Two unmarried people who reside at the same address may be sent a single invitation. Their names would appear on separate lines in alphabetic order:
Miss (Ms.) Roberta Trent
Mr. Robert Williamson
This same format may also be used when inviting a married couple, if the wife has kept her maiden name or uses a professional title.
Divorced women are formally addressed by their maiden name plus their married name:
Mrs. Benton Dover
However, contemporary etiquette does allow for the use of the woman's first name:
Mrs. Janet Dover
A widowed woman is always addressed using her husband's first and last names:
Mrs. Henry Clearmont
In addressing clergymen, military officers and medical doctors, always use their titles in full:
The Right Reverend William Prentice
Doctor and Mrs. Martin Swift
Colonel and Mrs. Quinlan Roberts
The return address may be written, imprinted or embossed on the flap of the outer envelope. Your return address should be included on the outer envelope so the invitation can be returned to you if the address is incorrect or if the invitation is not deliverable for some reason.
How to Prepare for Mailing
Your invitations and announcements will arrive flat. Single fold invitations should be folded with the printing on the outside. Those with a cover design should be folded with the design on the outside and the imprinted area on the inside. If the invitation is folded a second time, all insertions are placed inside the second fold with the printed copy facing the flap of the envelope.
Assemble Your Invitations in the Following Manner
With the invitation face up place the tissue over the imprint area. Enclosure cards are then placed face up on top of the tissue with the reception card closest to the invitation. Remember to place a postage stamp on the response envelope. The invitation and accompanying cards should then be placed inside the inner envelope. The printed side faces you, leading into the envelope with the folded edge first.
Note that at-home cards bearing the couple's married name should not be sent with the invitation.
Finally, the inner envelope, with all of the contents mentioned above, is inserted into the outer envelope. The guest's name should face the back of the outer envelope so that it is seen immediately when removed from the outer envelope.
It is advisable to have an invitation weighed at the Post Office before buying your stamps. Occasionally, invitations with lined envelopes and several enclosure cards require extra postage. Additionally, due to their shape, square invitations also require extra postage. The use of a decorative postage stamp is always a nice added touch.
Your invitations should be mailed six to eight weeks before the wedding. Announcements and at-home cards are always mailed after the wedding has taken place.
Other than friends, the groom's family and my family, who should receive wedding invitations?
Send invitations to the members of the wedding party and their parents. It is also appropriate to include the officiate and his/her spouse. All children over the age of sixteen should receive their own invitation. Plan to order an additional twenty-five invitations to allow for the unexpected. It is less expensive to buy extras now.
Should I have a return address printed on the back flap of the invitation's outer envelope?
Yes! The U.S. Postal Service suggests that all first-class mail have a return address. It gives the wedding guest an address to which to send a reply (if you don't use reply cards) or a gift. Also, it ensures that you will know if the invitation does not reach its destination as it will be returned to the sender.
Is it acceptable to send gift registry cards with the invitation?
It is not proper to include with your wedding invitation any card that mentions gifts you expect to receive. Let friends and family spread the word on where you are registered.
My fiancé and I have had several showers and other parties given in our honor. Therefore, some friends have given us more than one gift. Can we write one thank you note to cover both gifts, or does each gift require a separate note?
Gifts given at separate parties require separate thank you notes. If you use preprinted thank you notes to immediately acknowledge that a gift was received, always follow up with a hand written note to the gift giver. These notes should be written no later than two months after the wedding.
How do you address the outer envelope of an invitation to a married couple if the woman has kept her maiden name?
If the woman kept her name, address the envelope with both names on the same line if space permits:
Mr. William Smith and Ms. Laura Jones
75 Long Avenue
For an invitation to an unmarried couple living together, list their names alphabetically on separate lines without "and":
Mr. William Smith
Ms. Laura Jones
75 Long Avenue